we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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