My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
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I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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