All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
