Me. At least after what I've been through.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He felt like a one man threesome
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
