You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
