You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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