please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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