watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
