I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
