im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
