how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
