It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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