If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
