no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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