im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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