Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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