If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
