I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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