She announced her abortion via fbk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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