Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do herpes really smell.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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