I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize