So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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