You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
