I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
