Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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