It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
