Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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