My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
