dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
