Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
