porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
