I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
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