Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
