we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
