Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sobbing to NWA
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
