I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
