I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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