omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
