She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
