We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize