Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
