Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
