You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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