Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Shame is for Republicans.
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