so that wasnt chicken after all
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
