I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will pee on everything he values.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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