um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
