what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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