We're like a lot better than the average bears
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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