Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize