Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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