"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
