Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize