I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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