I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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