glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
