OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
