I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it glows. i had to have it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
