I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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