Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. http://tfl.nu/7g2d
  Replies (35) Good night (2016) Bad night (3657)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Strong 6

  (516): View more from New York

  That's an oxymoron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck? (201): Strong 6 (516): That's an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/n45n
  Replies (32) Good night (1331) Bad night (4358)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night. http://tfl.nu/7pk1
  Replies (11) Good night (5621) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (2453)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i
  Replies (31) Good night (6946) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins. http://tfl.nu/d5im
  Replies (4) Good night (1202) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4526) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1
  Replies (20) Good night (1567) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr
  Replies (6) Good night (1756) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor. http://tfl.nu/wceh
  Replies (9) Good night (3770) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win? http://tfl.nu/frm8
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm. http://tfl.nu/owix
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/f5ew
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras http://tfl.nu/enu7
  Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (248)

Randomize