I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.